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Adulthood comes with a cruel irony: as kids, we fought against nap time, and now we’d pay good money for the luxury of mid-afternoon shut-eye. These days, between work, family, and a never-ending mental to-do list, sleep feels less like a nightly guarantee and more like a coveted prize. The CDC even reports that 1 in 3 adults isn’t getting enough sleep—so if you’re dragging yourself through the week, you’re in good company.

But here’s the good news: better rest is possible. We asked sleep pros Shelby Harris, PsyD, and Dan Gartenberg, PhD, to share their smartest, science-backed strategies for getting your body back into rhythm and waking up refreshed. Ready to reclaim your eight hours? Let’s dive in.

1. Stop Scrolling Before Bed

We’ve all been there: “just one more TikTok” turns into 45 minutes of doomscrolling under the covers. The problem? Your phone is sabotaging your sleep.
“Not only does scrolling expose you to blue light, but it also activates your brain and spikes cortisol—exactly what you don’t want at bedtime,” says Gartenberg. Unlike TV, phones are hyper-engaging and dopamine-fueled, making them harder to put down.
Pro tip: Use the built-in bedtime modes on your phone and keep it out of reach when you crawl into bed.

2. Turn Your Bedroom Into a Sleep Sanctuary

Your bed should be for two things only: sleep and sex. That’s it.
“When you work, scroll, or multitask in bed, your brain starts associating the space with stress and activity,” Gartenberg explains. “Instead, keep your bedroom quiet, dark, cool, and cozy.” Think breathable sheets, blackout curtains, and maybe even a white noise machine.
If you live in a studio, carve out a separate work nook—even if it’s just a desk in the corner—so your bed stays sacred.

3. Stick to a Schedule

Consistency really is everything.
“Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day helps regulate your circadian rhythm,” says Harris. That means no sleeping until noon on Saturday and no crashing at 9 p.m. on Sunday to “catch up.” Slow and steady routines work better than constant overcorrections.

4. Rethink Your Nightcap (and Afternoon Coffee)

It’s simple but worth repeating: caffeine lingers in your system for hours, and alcohol disrupts sleep cycles.
“Try to cut caffeine at least eight hours before bed, and avoid drinking alcohol within three hours of bedtime,” Harris advises. Translation: swap that 3 p.m. cold brew for tea, and save happy hour margaritas for earlier in the evening.

5. Move Your Body

The more energy you burn during the day, the easier it is to rest at night. “There’s strong evidence linking exercise with better sleep quality,” Harris notes. The key isn’t about intensity—it’s about consistency. A morning run, a yoga class, or even a brisk evening walk can help regulate your body’s natural rhythms.

6. Use Zeitgebers (a.k.a. Time Cues)

Here’s a fancy science word worth learning: Zeitgebers. They’re external cues—like sunlight, meals, and exercise—that influence your circadian rhythm.
“Sunlight is the most powerful Zeitgeber,” says Gartenberg. “If you want to shift toward being a morning person, get outside as early as possible.” Align your meals, workouts, and socializing with your desired schedule, and your body will slowly catch on.

7. Avoid “Social Jetlag”

Late nights out followed by Monday’s early alarm? That’s social jetlag. “Your body feels like it’s traveling across time zones every weekend,” says Gartenberg.
One hack: make Friday your late night so you have Saturday and Sunday to reset. If cutting back on nights out isn’t realistic, double down on other sleep-friendly habits during the week.

8. Wind Down With Intention

Your body needs a signal that it’s time to power down. “Relaxation techniques like meditation, breathwork, or gentle stretching before bed can help ease your mind and improve sleep quality,” Harris explains. Even five minutes of mindfulness can make your transition to sleep smoother.

9. When in Doubt, Call in the Pros

If you’ve tried it all and still struggle, it might be time to see a sleep specialist. “Every person is different,” Harris says. “A doctor can help pinpoint what’s going on and create a personalized treatment plan.”

To say the pandemic disrupted how we live feels almost cliché at this point—but it truly reshaped everything, even our closets. Gone were the power suits and party dresses; in came nap dresses, stretchy pants, and carefully curated “Zoom tops.” As we now navigate yet another summer in this in-between world—half online, half outside—many of us are turning to fashion not just for practicality, but for comfort, self-expression, and even a little joy.

Enter dopamine dressing.

What Exactly Is Dopamine Dressing?

At its core, dopamine dressing is about wearing clothes that make you feel good—pieces that literally spark joy. Maybe it’s a color that lights up your skin tone, a texture that feels luxurious against your body, or a silhouette that reminds you of your best self. The concept was introduced by fashion psychologist Dawnn Karen, known as “The Dress Doctor,” who explored the link between mood and clothing in her book Dress Your Best Life.

During the early pandemic, Karen found herself asking: If dopamine can be released through activities like exercise, could fashion do the same? Her answer: yes. Think leopard print when you’d usually reach for black, whimsical mismatched layers, or an unapologetically bright tutu. In her words, it’s about wearing “crazy, whimsical stuff that doesn’t match” if it makes you happy. Thus, “mood enhancement dress” was rebranded into the far catchier “dopamine dressing”—and the term took off.

Why It’s Everywhere Right Now

Social media helped turn dopamine dressing from niche idea to full-blown movement. TikTokers and Instagram creators flooded feeds with kaleidoscopic outfits and maximalist styling, inspiring others to embrace boldness. You can see its fingerprints all over today’s trends: Pantone’s Veri Peri shade became 2022’s “it” color, opera gloves and feathers dominated both runways and For You Pages, and we’ve seen a resurgence of miniskirts, royalcore, and Y2K nostalgia.

As Whitney Keefe, style expert at Stitch Fix, puts it: “We’re nostalgic for the days when we expressed ourselves more freely through fashion—so we’re amping it way up. Dopamine dressing is about confidence. For some people, that’s a favorite silhouette; for others, it’s a punchy print or a certain texture. Whatever makes you feel best is what works.”

Reclaiming Fashion as Play

For many, dopamine dressing is about permission—permission to wear what you love, even if it’s “too much” for the office or a coffee run. Personal shopper Mary Higham admits she always worried her taste was “a little extra.” But now, working outside a traditional office environment, she leans into it.

“Fashion should be fun and joyous,” she says. “After everything we’ve been through the last few years, it only makes sense to reach for clothes that bring you energy.”

How to Try Dopamine Dressing Yourself

The beauty of dopamine dressing is that it doesn’t require a brand-new wardrobe or an influencer-level budget. It’s about reframing how you get dressed. Here are a few ways to ease in:

1. Tune Into Your Mood
Before scrolling your phone in the morning, take a beat. Ask yourself: How do I feel today? How do I want to feel? Then dress for that. Dawnn Karen encourages people to use fashion as a daily emotional check-in—something we rarely did pre-pandemic.

2. Shop Your Own Closet
The most joyful pieces are often ones you already own. Keefe suggests noticing what you instinctively reach for and doubling down. If you gravitate toward red shoes or a certain cut of jeans, wear them more.

3. Borrow From Your Feed
Love a certain aesthetic on Instagram or TikTok? Use it as inspiration. Higham points out that fashion mood boards—digital or physical—can help uncover your personal “joy triggers.”

4. Play With Color Therapy
While color psychology suggests certain hues evoke specific moods, personal association matters most. For some, pink is calming; for others, leopard print feels like a neutral. Forget trends—wear what energizes you.

5. Explore Texture
Velvet, tulle, crochet, feathers—textures carry emotional weight too. Mixing materials can feel daring and fresh, offering just as much mood boost as a neon color.

6. Start Small
If a technicolor tutu feels intimidating, try baby steps. Higham recommends picking one standout piece—a necklace, a bold shoe, a statement blazer—and styling around it. Even a “special occasion” piece can become everyday if you decide today is the occasion.

Dressing for Joy

Ultimately, dopamine dressing isn’t about impressing anyone else. It’s about reclaiming clothing as a source of pleasure in a world that often feels overwhelming.

“Let’s find joy wherever we can,” Higham reminds us. “Even if that’s just in wearing a really fun outfit.”

And maybe that’s the real shift: fashion no longer has to be about rules, occasions, or fitting in. It can simply be about choosing pieces that make you feel like the brightest version of yourself.

I’m not technically a decade into being a New Yorker yet, but I’ve got the unofficial credentials down: a closet full of black, zero tolerance for slow walkers, and a college diet fueled by dollar pizza slices. I love the pace and energy of the city—but between the constant grind and the general state of, well, everything right now, my stress manifests in one very specific way: my shoulders basically live up around my ears.

So when the opportunity came to spend a weekend at the Four Seasons Anguilla for a Sensei wellness pop-up, I said yes—though the cynical New Yorker in me fully expected it to be more woo-woo than worthwhile. But the second I stepped onto the property, with its sweeping ocean views, airy design, and endless sense of calm, I felt something shift. Maybe it was the Caribbean sun, maybe the sound of waves, but my skepticism started to soften.

And while the entire retreat was designed to help me slow down, the highlight—the treatment that genuinely rewired my shoulders—was Sensei’s proprietary Thermal Body Mapping Massage. Spoiler: it was unlike any spa experience I’ve ever had.

The Sensei Philosophy

Sensei is all about merging wellness with data-backed science. The program was founded by Larry Ellison (yes, that Larry Ellison, the Oracle co-founder) and Dr. David Agus, a physician and researcher. The idea: pair traditional wellness practices—think massages, meditation, and guided fitness—with modern tools like sleep analysis and body-mapping technology to create highly individualized experiences.

At the Anguilla pop-up, guests could choose from one-on-one sessions with “Sensei guides” as well as small group classes ranging from beach walks to core-strength training. My package included one wellness consultation and one spa treatment. I opted for a sleep analysis (part science lesson, part therapy session) and the Thermal Body Mapping Massage.

What It’s Like

The spa setting alone is enough to lower your blood pressure—an infinity pool, swinging daybeds, and Kelly Wearstler–designed interiors that look straight out of a design magazine. But the real intrigue came once my practitioner, John, walked me through the mapping process.

Before the massage even starts, a thermographic camera scans your body, creating images that highlight areas of excess heat. In Sensei’s approach, heat often correlates with tension or discomfort. “The visual map helps pinpoint asymmetries, muscle tightness, and potential pain points,” Sensei explains. From there, the practitioner builds a tailored massage plan.

My scans lit up exactly where I expected—shoulders (thank you, writing career), hands, hips, and knees. Basically, my whole posture screamed “stressed-out desk job.”

Then came the massage itself. And let me tell you: this was no fluffy aromatherapy rubdown. It leaned closer to a sports massage—intense at times, even a little uncomfortable in that “hurts so good” way—but it felt intentional. John worked with precision, targeting my mapped-out hot spots and explaining each step as he went. Slowly, my body started to respond. I felt tension I didn’t even know I was carrying in my hips melt away. My perpetually tight shoulders softened. My whole frame felt looser, more open.

The Afterglow

I always emerge from massages feeling relaxed, maybe a little sleepy. But this was different. When it was over, I felt light—like someone had taken a heavy jacket off my body. My shoulders, which hadn’t truly relaxed in years, stayed dropped and tension-free for hours afterward.

Was it the massage alone? Maybe. Did the Caribbean sunshine, the sound of the ocean, and the pure indulgence of a Four Seasons stay add to the effect? Absolutely. But the real difference was the methodical, data-driven approach. The mapping made the whole thing feel purposeful, like every move had a reason.

Now that I’m back in New York, my stress levels are, predictably, back up. My shoulders have resumed their post under my ears. But I’m still thinking about that massage—how good it felt to experience targeted, intentional bodywork instead of the usual generic routine.

Would I fly back just for another Thermal Body Mapping session? Honestly, I might. At the very least, I’ll be daydreaming about it every time I’m stuck in midtown traffic, wishing I could swap honking horns for ocean waves.

Note: This essay is one author’s personal experience and should not be taken as medical advice. If you’re struggling with your mental health, please reach out to a healthcare professional.

It was April 2020. After weeks of texting, FaceTiming, and even playing virtual board games, Maxton finally showed up at my apartment door. Chicago was still deep in lockdown, and technically, maybe we should have stuck to our daily phone calls. But the pull was too strong. They say when you know, you know—and I knew Maxton belonged in my life.

We tried to keep it Covid-compliant, staying outside as we walked. But by the end of the block, we were already kissing, cars honking in disapproval or delight as if we were the only two people alive. It should’ve been pure joy—and in many ways, it was. But beneath the butterflies, I felt something unsettling: confusion.

The Baggage

Not long before, I’d survived a toxic relationship that left me emotionally wrecked. Looking back, it was never going to work. We wanted different things, spoke different emotional languages, and fought instead of communicated. Our time together was full of crying, shouting, and pretending things were fine. It was, quite literally, toxic.

And yet, when it ended, I romanticized even the worst moments. My brain blurred the bad parts into fog. I obsessed over whether I had been the real problem. I replayed every scene, wondering how I could have fixed it. My depression deepened, and soon I was in therapy, then in residential treatment. That breakup broke something in me.

So when I finally matched with Maxton, two years later, I thought I was ready. I thought I’d done the work. But when the relationship actually started—and it was good, really good—I panicked.

The Good That Felt Wrong

Maxton was everything I could’ve asked for: kind, funny, nerdy in the best way, and endlessly supportive. We liked the same movies, shared the same weird love for obscure musicals, and could talk for hours. When conflicts arose, we actually talked them through instead of erupting into a fight. It was safe, steady, and loving.

So why did my chest tighten every time things went smoothly?

The answer hit me in therapy: I had mistaken chaos for passion. My old relationship had been fueled by highs and lows, dizzying arguments followed by tearful reconciliations. The drama felt like intensity. The fights felt like proof we cared. Compared to that, peace felt… flat. I worried we didn’t have “spark,” when in reality, what we had was healthier than anything I’d ever known.

And then there was my self-esteem. For years, I believed love meant proving yourself worthy of someone who was always slipping away. Maxton’s steady affection made me feel valued—but part of me whispered that I didn’t deserve it. That sooner or later, I’d ruin it.

Choosing Peace

But here’s the thing: I didn’t run.

I could have chased another toxic dynamic, confused comfort for boredom, or sabotaged what we had. Instead, I leaned on therapy, family, friends—and Maxton himself. I reminded myself that everyone deserves love without chaos. That trust, kindness, and peace aren’t boring; they’re the foundation of real passion.

So I stayed. We built a life together. We moved across the country, adopted a cat, got engaged. And just days ago, we got married in a small, perfect ceremony with only our parents and his sister officiating. When I said “I do,” I didn’t feel confused or anxious. I felt certain.

The Happy Ending

For the first time in my life, I understand that true love doesn’t have to feel like a storm. It can feel calm. Safe. Quietly powerful.

And I’ll never again doubt that everyone—yes, even me—deserves a love like this.

When I first came across Somato Emotional Release (SER)—a bodywork technique said to help people process trauma stored in the body—I’ll admit, I raised an eyebrow. Could a gentle form of massage really unlock both physical and emotional tension? Still, the more I heard people talk about its benefits for stress, trauma, and overall well-being, the more curious I became. Eventually, I booked a session with Dawn Phillips, founder of Haven Holistic + Somatic Healing in Brooklyn, to experience it for myself. Here’s what I learned.

What Exactly Is Somato Emotional Release?

Somato Emotional Release is a branch of CranioSacral Therapy, developed by osteopathic physician John E. Upledger. At its core is the idea that unresolved trauma—emotional or physical—can lodge itself in the body, affecting muscles, joints, and fascia (the thin connective tissue that wraps around muscles and organs).

“Even when we think we’ve moved on emotionally, our bodies may still be holding onto those experiences,” Phillips explains. Fascia that should feel pliable can instead tighten in response to trauma, leading to stiffness, discomfort, or pain. SER aims to gently guide the body toward releasing this stored tension.

Unlike a traditional massage, SER combines subtle bodywork with dialogue, helping clients notice and process emotions that surface. “We look for parts of the body that are holding fear or overprotection,” Phillips says. “Then we help those parts un-blend, while encouraging the more resilient parts of the body to emerge.”

Why People Try SER

Clients turn to SER for many reasons, but the most common benefits include:

• Gaining insight into personal traumas and how they affect the body
• Supporting emotional healing after difficult life events
• Unlocking suppressed or forgotten memories
• Relieving physical pain and tension linked to trauma

Phillips often works with people dealing with PTSD, anxiety, or depression. Some use SER alongside traditional talk therapy, while others seek it out when they feel stuck in their healing process.

How to Prepare

The best way to show up, according to Phillips, is simply to be present. Loose, comfortable clothing is recommended, but there’s no need for elaborate preparation. “Even if you’re not in the perfect headspace when you arrive, that’s okay,” she reassures. “Your practitioner will meet you where you are.”

What a Session Feels Like

Each appointment begins with a consultation—around 15 to 20 minutes of open conversation about your goals or concerns. Some people arrive with specific issues, while others, like me, show up uncertain but open.

I confessed my biggest fears: that I might uncover something overwhelming, or that nothing at all would happen. Phillips immediately put me at ease, creating a warm and nonjudgmental space where honesty felt natural.

On the table, the bodywork began with her hands resting lightly on my feet before gradually moving toward my head. The touch was not forceful or manipulative but instead grounding, almost meditative. “We’re not trying to push your body anywhere,” she explained. “We’re simply listening to what it wants to share.”

At one point, I felt a tingling sensation running down my legs, followed unexpectedly by tears. It wasn’t a vague release but a pointed emotional reaction to something I hadn’t consciously thought of in years. Instead of feeling embarrassed, I found myself curious—thanks to Phillips’ gentle guidance and compassionate presence.

Releases can show up in many forms: a deep sigh, laughter, tears, or even a subtle shift in body awareness. For me, it was tears followed by a surprising lightness, as though a weight had been lifted.

Afterward, Phillips gave me time to reflect, then handed me thoughtful notes from our session to take home. Unlike traditional therapy sessions where I sometimes leave emotionally drained, I walked out feeling both calm and energized.

Cost and Commitment

A 60-minute session typically costs between $100 and $200, depending on location. Insurance rarely covers it, though some practitioners, like Phillips, offer financial flexibility.

For lasting results, Phillips suggests scheduling at least three sessions spaced a couple of weeks apart. “One experience is a starting point,” she says. “But consistency helps maintain the release and allows deeper work to unfold.”

Aftercare Matters

Perhaps the most important part of SER happens after the session. Phillips advises carving out downtime instead of rushing back into work or social obligations. Avoid screens, spend time reflecting, and give your body space to integrate whatever surfaced.

My Takeaway

I walked into my SER session skeptical and nervous. I walked out lighter, clearer, and surprisingly hopeful. This isn’t a quick fix or a cure-all—but it is a deeply gentle, trauma-informed therapy that lets your body lead the way.

If you’re searching for a healing practice that bridges the emotional and the physical, Somato Emotional Release may be worth exploring. The key is finding a practitioner whose approach feels safe and supportive for you. Sometimes, the body really does remember—and with the right guidance, it can also let go.

If you’ve been feeling a little more wound-up than usual lately, there’s a deceptively simple technique you might want to try: Tapping. Don’t worry—you won’t need to dig out your old tap shoes or risk waking the neighbors. This kind of Tapping, officially called the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), only requires your fingertips and a few minutes of focus.

It may sound a little out there—like the kind of wellness trend that belongs in a “snake oil” aisle. But EFT has more than a woo-woo following. Research shows that Tapping can lower cortisol (the stress hormone) by nearly 25 percent, and it’s already being used as an evidence-based tool for conditions like anxiety, PTSD, depression, and even phobias.

What Exactly Does Tapping Do?

At its core, Tapping helps rebalance emotions. “It quiets the body and the mind, often in just a few minutes, so we can think clearly and problem-solve again,” explains therapist Bilazarian.

In other words: when your nervous system is in overdrive, Tapping helps flip the switch back to calm.

How Does It Work?

Think of Tapping as a direct line to your stress response system. By rhythmically tapping on specific acupressure points, you’re sending calming signals to the amygdala and hippocampus—two parts of the brain that control how we react to stress.

“Imagine a thought that sparks anxiety,” says EFT practitioner Senia. “Your brain sets off the amygdala fire alarm, launching fight-or-flight mode. But when you tap, you send a signal that it’s safe to stand down—even if the stressful thought hasn’t gone away.”

Over time, the hippocampus (your brain’s memory processor) starts to relearn what’s a real threat and what’s not. Painful memories can lose their sting. Triggers don’t feel quite so triggering.

What Issues Can Tapping Help With?

According to practitioners, the list is surprisingly long. Tapping has been used for:

• Everyday stress and worry
• Social anxiety and generalized anxiety
• PTSD and trauma recovery
• OCD and panic
• Chronic pain and fibromyalgia
• Depression
• Addictions and phobias
• Weight management struggles

Or as Bilazarian puts it: “Try it on everything.”

How Often Should You Tap?

The beauty of EFT is its flexibility. You can do it anywhere, anytime—at your desk, before bed, even in the bathroom before a big meeting.

“There’s really no downside to self-tapping as often as you need,” says Senia. “For deeper issues like PTSD or significant trauma, working with a certified EFT therapist is recommended.”

Are There Side Effects?

Compared to most treatments, side effects are minimal. Some people may notice an emotional release—like tears, irritability, or sadness—especially if tapping brings buried feelings to the surface.

Others might experience yawns or sighs, which Bilazarian says are simply signs the nervous system is shifting from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest. That’s when the immune system and other key body processes function best.

Does It Actually Work?

The science says yes. More than 100 studies back EFT’s effectiveness. In one 2019 study, participants who tapped saw:

• Cravings drop by 74%
• Pain decrease by 57%
• Anxiety reduced by 40%
• Depression lowered by 35%
• PTSD symptoms improved by 32%
• Happiness boosted by 31%

On top of that, cortisol levels dropped, along with blood pressure and heart rate.

And the stories are just as compelling. “I once worked with a man struggling with anger,” recalls Senia. “After a few tapping cycles, he noticed that the neck pain he’d carried for weeks was suddenly gone—and it never came back.” Stress, it turns out, really had been living in his body.

How to Try Tapping for Yourself

Here’s a beginner-friendly routine you can try right now:

1. Identify the issue. Pick one thing that’s bothering you—like stress about a deadline or a nagging headache. Rate it from 0 (no problem) to 10 (severe distress).
2. Start with the “karate chop” point. Using two fingers, tap the fleshy side of your hand (between your pinky and wrist) while saying a setup statement three times, such as:
   • “Even though I’m stressed about my deadline, I accept myself.”
     If “I accept myself” feels too strong, try “I’m okay” or “I accept how I feel right now.”
3. Move through the tapping points. Gently tap 5–7 times on each of the following, repeating a reminder phrase like “This stress is safe to let go.”
   • Inner eyebrow (near bridge of nose)
   • Side of eye (temple area)
   • Under the eye (on cheekbone)
   • Under the nose (between nose and lip)
   • Chin (crease under bottom lip)
   • Collarbone (just below the bone, near sternum)
   • Side of ribcage (about 4 inches below armpit)
   • Top of head
4. Reassess. Rate your stress or pain level again. Keep tapping until the number drops.

Most people notice relief in just three to ten minutes.

Final Thoughts

EFT Tapping is one of those techniques that’s almost too simple to believe—but both science and personal stories suggest it works. The best part? It’s free, quick, and always at your fingertips.

Next time stress sneaks up on you, instead of reaching for another cup of coffee (or doomscrolling for an hour), try a few rounds of Tapping. You might just find yourself breathing easier—literally.